let’s talk about you
do you ever say to yourself…
Therapy For People Working Through Trauma’s Byproducts
Does any of this resonate?
It feels like you’ve lost a part of yourself.
When unwanted things happen, they can leave behind a ripple effect of thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. Oftentimes, after trauma, the way we talk to ourselves about ourselves changes, sometimes as an attempt to make sense out of what happened. You start blaming yourself for what happened to you, and you use that blame to fuel the thought that you aren’t worthy of things you used to enjoy.
Perhaps you feel your confidence is now overshadowed by self-doubt, or that happy-go-lucky part of yourself has been replaced by a startling hyperawareness of the space around you. It can feel difficult to really know and trust yourself, and it can feel like you’ll never get your “old” life back.
It’s hard to say “I’ve been through trauma”
“Trauma” can be an intimidating word. I like to think of “trauma” as a word to describe an unwanted event that has important meaning. Every experience is subjective and unique. There is no black-and-white way to define trauma. Many people think “trauma” is akin to the plot of a Lifetime movie, where there is an "obvious” wrong that was committed. Yet what about all of the events that fall in the gray area, where there are blurred lines and less explicit boundaries? Because of the blurred lines that so often occur with trauma, I like to focus on your response to an event, rather than the event itself.
Rationally, you “should” be doing just fine. But you just don’t FEEL fine…
Perhaps you’ve lost interest in things you used to actually enjoy. Maybe you fill your days with distractions, to try and minimize any idle time for your mind. Sometimes, after an unwanted event, our feelings come out in the form of body sensations, rather than more “logical” cause-and-effect emotions. Oftentimes, we feel a disconnect from our bodies and our thoughts, where we’ll say “logically I know I’m safe/I know it’s not happening anymore,” yet you just don’t feel that way.
You’re trying really hard to cope.
You're trying all the new coping skills, from breathing techniques you saw on TikTok to the latest self-help journal. You’re woken up by bad dreams, and your waking hours are an emotional roller coaster, too. You try to push this out of your mind to “just move on” yet you feel it keeps sneaking back up. Your mood shifts faster than you can scroll through Instagram for the latest way to cope through triggers, and you’re feeling isolated and alone, thinking that “no one understands.”
Here are some common responses to trauma that you might relate to:
Feeling out of control
Increased alertness/sensitivity to surroundings
Anxiety and worry
Struggling to feel safe in your body
Labeling yourself as a way to make sense of what happened (“I’m crazy, abnormal, damaged, I deserved it,” etc)
Fearing that you are a burden
Comparing yourself to the “old you”
Hypersexual or hyposexual
Feeling hurt or betrayed
In denial
Feeling panicked or “hysterical”
People-pleasing
Change in appetite
Feeling that something was taken away
Feeling confused, disoriented, and/or distracted
Disconnect between rational thoughts and actual feelings
Flashbacks
Feeling fearful and scared
Numb or avoidant
Perfectionist tendencies
Feeling sad or depressed
Fearing that no one will believe you
Feeling “stuck”
Dissociation
Self-blame
Doubting yourself and your decisions
Withdrawing / isolating yourself
Difficulty sleeping and/or nightmares
Substance use
Trauma affects every person differently. As I hope this list shows, there is no “one size fits all” response, which is why my therapy style involves a diverse array of different tools and techniques, customized to your feelings and your goals. We can do this!
Finding Your Way Back To You
Finding your way back to yourself after trauma can feel daunting, but it is possible, and you don’t have to do this alone. So many of us experience trauma, yet few of us are equipped to deal with it. Many times, we’ll respond in ways that are self-destructive or self-defeating, even if they feel like coping in the short-term.
Therapy can help you go inward, find a sense of safety within yourself, and practice new skills to manage the painful effects of trauma. I can help you reclaim your sense of control and power while replacing shaming thoughts with compassionate curiosity. I can help you skillfully shift your focus from getting through the day avoiding your “symptoms,” to choosing a present, intentional, and purposeful life, where all parts of yourself can harmoniously coexist.
This is your story. Even if this current chapter sucks, therapy with me can be a resource to put the pen back in your hand, so you can start turning the page and writing what comes next in your life. I believe you, I believe in you, and hope is possible.
Ready When You Are.
You know therapy is an option, but do you know the lasting impact it can have on your life?
Maybe it’s time you find out.